Happy Valentine’s Day, ladies!
In honor of Valentine’s Day, I want to write on one of my most favorite topics. <3 Biblical Marriage. <3
Biblical marriage is something to be celebrated! Something to pray for and pursue! God shows us in His Word how to conduct ourselves within relationships, and has specific instructions for ways that we are to conduct ourselves within marriage. I love to blog about those things here at Abiding Woman, and will continue because they are very important!
God’s design for marriage is that we would be a picture of Jesus and His bride! We get the opportunity to be a Part of a Beautiful Picture! An integral piece of this picture is that we as women are submissive to and trusting of our husbands just as we submit to and trust the Lord. I said “trust” because trust is a huge part of submission and it is also a primary way to build intimacy within your marriage. It is difficult for your husband to be in intimate conversation with you (which is what women tend to crave as intimacy) when he feels that you do not trust where he is leading your family. How can he be safe to share his heart with a wife who acts as if she knows better than he does about how things should go. That is not the design God laid out for your marriage.
Epesians 5: 22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything
Now some are thinking, “well that is fine and good for some men, but you don’t know my husband…. he isn’t walking with the Lord, he makes terrible decisions, and he isn’t looking out for my best interest”. I am very sorry if this is the case, however we are told that our example is Sarah the wife of Abraham, and if anyone had a reason to doubt her husband’s judgments on some things, it would’ve been her.
1Peter 3:5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
Think about it, what would you have done if your husband told you to lie and say you were his sister and let you be taken off by another man to be with him? What if your husband told you he was going to take your child up on a mountain and sacrifice him? Sarah submitted to her husband and trusted the Lord who was over her husband. That is what we must do also as we are instructed here. The Bible doesn’t say to submit to your husband if it sounds like he has a good idea, it says submit like Sarah did. Wow! That’s a tall order, and believe me girls, I don’t always do this perfectly, but when I fail I must repent to the Lord and to my husband.
If you desire to cultivate intimacy in your marriage, it starts with you! A disclaimer though: I can’t promise you that the result you desire will come from your obedience. God’s not a vending machine! We don’t obey to get an earthly result of blessing, we obey because God is worthy of our obedience.
I say this because my marriage hasn’t always been the blessing that it is today…. in fact we went through some REALLY hard years. During that time, I believed a lie that if I would just obey God and submit to my husband that the Lord would give me a good and happy marriage. There was one day that I will never forget, we had been fighting (I mean REALLY FIGHTING), and I left because I had somewhere I had to be, on that drive I prayed in tears the same kind of prayer I always prayed, “God where are you in this? I’m obeying your Word as best I can, why will you not fix my marriage?” It was at this time that the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart much like God spoke to Job after all of his questioning…..
I realized in that moment what a great sin I was committing, I was trying to manipulate God with my obedience to get what I wanted. A good marriage is a good thing to desire, but it is not something we can demand! In that moment, I felt the Lord say to me, “You must obey Me even if your marriage NEVER changes.” I then had to confess, and weep for my own sin. I began to obey God in my marriage for the sake of obeying Him alone. Amazingly enough, God in His great mercy did end up changing the heart of my husband, and today we do have a marriage that blesses me daily! However, God did not have to do that for me! But I am thankful that He did! I have written a post about “7 Things I Learned in 7 Years of Marriage” and this would be particularly helpful to the wife who is walking through a difficult marriage. The Lord has graciously shown me so much through those times of struggle, and I hope that I can use that to help others walking a similar path that I did.
And if you are looking for some practical ways that you can love your husband, I have a post from last Valentines Day entitled “20 Ways to Love Your Husband“. I hope that you and your husband will be blessed by it!